When is it ok to be offensive?
Most of us condemn bullying and violence. Unfortunately, it has become increasingly socially acceptable to react with aggression to anyone who has opinions, we believe, are forbidden by our segment of society. When we are ‘Triggered’ our reaction to someone, or something else, becomes the justification for our own aggression and violence.
This is all very jolly until we find ourselves on the wrong side of the list of forbidden opinions!
As verbal and emotional violence has become socially acceptable it has had a corrosive effect on our culture. Without even noticing it, by indulging our own violence, we kill something very precious inside of ourselves.
Being triggered is hard. Anger is an emotion that oozes out of our deepest emotions.
Often we don’t even notice anger, until it is too late, and we’ve been swept away into the land of the ‘Red Mist’.
Anger is just a reaction it is NOT who we are. As you may have discovered for yourself in the 28 Day Foundation Course, it is based on three things:
- The sum of our Past
- Our belief about that Past
- Our expectations for our Future
What makes us angry and how we deal with that anger is largely a product of our ‘belief’.
Thankfully, most men between 25 and 40 years old do not feel entitled to vent their anger on their wives or children. But it is evident that they do feel that it’s perfectly acceptable to be offensive and violent when communicating with a person who belongs to a certain proscribed group — those people on their ‘Nasty’ list.
Unfortunately, that list is changing everyday and it depends on what segment of society you belong to, which list you get!
We all get issued different lists so it doesn’t really matter who is on your ‘Nasty’ list, what matters is what you do with it!
Germany’s Nazi party were masters of propaganda
They managed to convince ordinary German people that killing Jews was a good idea. ‘Jews’ were at the top of the German’s ‘Nasty’ list.
Anti-Semitic Propaganda from Nazi Germany
German children were bombarded with anti-Semitic propaganda brainwashing them into believing that all Jews were evil.
It was through the use of story and images that the Nazis controlled what people thought and believed. History teaches us that it is through manipulating ‘belief’ that you persuade good people to do evil.
On the night of November 9 1938, Joseph Goebbels convinced the German people to take to the streets to kill Jews.
Ultimately, ‘Kristallnacht’ (Night of broken glass) was responsible for over a hundred Jewish people being murdered by the German mob. Thirty thousand Jewish People were arrested and sent to concentration camps and their homes and businesses seized by ordinary Germans.
The more you indulge your anger the more power it has over you!
The world is chaotic, it is impossible to change it to suit yourself. Your anger will try to form the world in the shape of your own self-interest but, in the process, it will destroy everything you love.
One day you will find yourself confronted with your own actions. Believe me, you won’t like what you see!
The next time you find yourself getting angry, stop!
Don’t listen to the voice of your self-justification. Realise that you are being lied to!
You are not an island and that person you are tempted to attack is a part of you!
Before you dismiss someone out of hand, take a deep breath and try this exercise:
- Imagine that you have already said or done what your anger is pushing you to do to the person who has annoyed you. Now imagine that your victim is related to you. That evening they come home upset and they tell you what someone (you) has done or said to them! How would that make you feel?
- Anger is like a wave — it is not who you are. Let it sweep over you and pass you like a wave. It will leave you clean and strong in its wake.
- Breathe out and let the anger go.
- Now, instead of talking in your head, force yourself to just listen to what the other person is saying and remember that on the deepest level you are connected.
Anger and violence is a lot like Heroin.
I know because, in the world where I grew up, violence was a part of my life.
You have just a little bit.
You have a taste.
You tell yourself that against this person, this Jew, this Gypsy, this person, violence is justified.
You have a list of reasons why this person is sub-human and their feelings/thoughts don’t count.
You’re ‘triggered’ — you feel morally superior. You indulge yourself.
The problem with Heroin is we just don’t know when to stop.
Without realising it, you will find that your self-indulgence has let something out of the box and believe me you will struggle to put it back.
When we allow ourselves to be offensive, rude and violent, we are creating a world where that negativity, that darkness, is the new normal.
Is that really the world you want to live in? Is that really the world you want for your children?
Let us know in the comments below what your experiences are of anger.
Have you been the victim of violence? I would love to hear from other people who also know what it is to be ‘violent’.
If you enjoyed this article, you might like to read my blog ‘Why are people so nasty?’ – CLICK HERE